How often should a Christian couple have sex in marriage? What are some of the love making ideas you think would help marriages? What effect do Christian doctrines have on love-making in many Christian homes? These and more questions I have seen young intending Christian couples ask, even the long-married ones too.
You see, love-making is a crucial aspect of your marriage you must not joke about. It is an area where couples are most aware of their oneness with each other. And, of course, it is an expression of vulnerability between couples without feeling guilty or ashamed. The Bible says;
“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25
Subsequently, your nakedness in marriage is not a thing of shame. You are bound by the love and covenant of your marriage to be physically, emotionally and spiritually naked before your spouse. This is one thing love-making tends to achieve in marriage. So, no matter how highly placed and respected you are in society, there is this one person who knows everything about you and does not fault you for it. This person is your spouse whom you make love with.
Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body’s deeper need, the need for genuine love.
Henry J. M. Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love
Love-making is very important in marriage. When it comes to love-making in marriage, there is no limit to its frequency. It could be spontaneous. However, it must be with mutual consent. Unfortunately, most couples are inadvertently not prepared for it. In this blog post, you will learn different love-making ideas you can use to spice up your marriage.
Love Making Ideas in Christian Marriage
Love is beautiful and can be expressed in marriage through sex. However, buying a gift for your spouse to show love is not a bad idea at all, especially when it is something to keep the memory of your love for each other. For instance, you can get a love you pink t-shirt for yourself and your spouse.
Interesting, more to the gift is the action that follows on your matrimonial bed. Below are some of the love-making ideas that would help your sex life in marriage and enhance love in the home:
- Love Making Does not have to be Firework all the Time
It is alright from time to time to meet your partner’s sexual needs without having a deep emotional connection.
Do not expect that love-making has to be a firework all the time. You might be disappointed. Quickies with your spouse are okay too. Of course, it is often better than nothing.
Though quickies are meant to make your partner feel loved, especially when you are tired or not in the mood for love-making. However, you can learn to communicate your desire for sex with your partner through various body language.
Sometimes, your partner might have a higher sexual drive than you do. In this case, a quickie is permitted to satisfy your partner’s sexual needs. Yes, if you are emotionally connected, there is certainly nothing wrong with the occasional quickie.
- Keep Your Love Making Exciting and Adventurous
Love-making is like food. The more spices you add to it, the sweeter it becomes.
You can add some romance to your love-making. Sometimes, it could feel boring and ordinary. Hence, it would help if you spiced it up with adventures. You can change the atmosphere of your room by lighting candles and setting rose petals on the bed.
However, love-making is not only meant for the bedroom. You can change your location and even your sex position of loving making. After all, it does not always have to be the missionary style where the man is on top and the woman is under him.
You could adopt the spooning bliss position, where both couples lay on their sides and the husband makes love with his wife from behind her. Also, it could be the lap cross woman on top position. Any amazing position that creates sexual thrills between you and your spouse is good.
Interestingly, the Bible did not explicitly speak about sexual positions in marriage. However, there were instances in the Bible that showed us certain sexual positions. The situation of Joseph when his master’s wife seduced him to lie beside her or be with her (Genesis 39:10) is an indication of one of the sexual positions. You could infer that could be the spooning bliss position being suggested.
As couples, do not be embarrassed to try different positions or methods until you find what works best for you. Sex is designed to be explored, particularly in the context of marriage.
- You have to Talk about Sex
Communication has never ceased to be essential to problem-solving, love-making included.
You are not an angel, neither is your partner. You don’t have the power to read minds. Therefore, do not feel ashamed or reluctant to talk to your spouse about your sexual disposition. Talk about it before, during and after sex.
However, it is advisable to leave the heavy stuff until after love-making to avoid a turn-off.
Dear couple, don’t be too rigid to learn what you like in love-making so that you can communicate that to your partner. You cannot make suggestions unless you know what turns you on.
Let your partner know when something they are doing feels good. Let your partner know where the touch is most pleasurable.
Talk to your partner to disclose what they truly want during love-making. If your partner does not understand, you can ask more detailed questions:
Did you like it when I touched you here?
How did you feel last night when we did so and so?
Of course, if you are not comfortable with a certain adventure or technique, don’t keep it to yourself how you feel. Is there something you have wished to try? Bring it up?
Love-making is giving and receiving. It would be best if you considered what feels good to your partner. Try to be honest about your needs. Talking and sharing are key to your successful sex life in marriage.
- Prioritize Love Making in Your Marriage
When two people feel treasured and respected, their sex life will reflect it.
How often do you think you should make love in your marriage? Well, it depends on how distant you are feeling in your marriage.
There are a lot of factors that might influence your sexual mood.
In this case, you need to prioritize what is important to you. And in Christian marriage, love-making is very important.
The more you work to strengthen your love-making, the healthier your marriage becomes. If your love-making life is disintegrating, so will your marriage.
- Be Silly and Playful in Love Making
Turn a game of hide-and-seek into foreplay. Get creative and see where it leads you.
Love-making does not have to be uneventful or even seductive all the time. You enjoy love-making more while you are silly and playful. Play and crack jokes. Laugh with yourselves. These acts often take the pressure off the act of love-making in marriage. Instead, breathe life into your love-making. It removes your insecurities and makes you wild and free!
When a tinge of silliness is present, it becomes easier to try something new. You know you won’t worry about getting things right first.
For you and your partner to have a fulfilling love-making life, you need to nurture a spirit of playfulness. In the bedroom, keep outside the grown-up part of you.
Couples cannot experience the fullness of love-making unless they do it in childlike wonder, curiosity and playfulness.
- Praise Different Parts of Your Partner’s Body
Online magazines will promptly tell you how your body is not good enough. It is up to you to hush the noise in your head and give your body the love it deserves.
We are not usually comfortable with the way our body is; why? Media and society have so much made us falsely believe how a perfect body should look like.
Taking the time to praise different parts of your partner’s body made them feel accepted by you. It increases their self-esteem and this translates into your passion when you get into the bedroom.
Do not judge nor rate your partner’s body by media or social standards. It is a total turn-off. When you concentrate extensively on what you think needs to be rebuilt in your body or your partner’s.
Criticism won’t make you feel happier. Love your partner for who they are. Loving yourself for who you are would make you extend the same to your partner.
Your love-making becomes healthier when you are not embarrassed to show off your body in the bedroom. You start by praising, appreciating, affirming and accepting each other.
In conclusion, love-making is not just about the physical but also emotional. Love-making can be a time to show your partner how you feel about them. Use the above love-making ideas to revive the love in your home.
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